Tuesday, June 29, 2010


I am a baseball/softball mom. I take offense to being called "soccer mom" (not really..lol). But my kids are all about ball! My girls are in the community softball league and my son is in the community baseball league (baseball nazi's - all of them!!). As much as I complain about having to take them all over town to three different practices, three different games, etc. I really do live for it! I love watching my kids play!! My son has made Allstars again (4th year in a row I believe) because he is a spectacular pitcher and short stop!! He made Omar-like plays at short and has pitched 2 no hitters this season alone. He lives for baseball!! My middle daughter is also an awesome pitcher and short stop. Her nick name is "Spidey" because even though she is little (she's 12 - she's just short..lol) she can pull balls out of the air she has no business being able to catch...she has to use her spidey web! My oldest is in it purely for the social aspect..I understand that. However, she is also a fantastic hitter and great second baseman! Oh..did I mention my husband is coach of Spidey's team too? See? We live for baseball!! My son's team came in second for the Championship game. They played 9 (yes, 9!) innings. It was tied 8-8...they held the other team inning after inning. It came down to the last play, hard line drive to short (my son), he caught it and turned in one motion (see? Omar-like plays!!) and threw a bomb to home. He was seconds from getting the out. The other team scored and we "lost". I say "lost" because in everyones eyes in that park there were two winners that night. Both teams played with heart and both teams can hold their heads up proud!

Tonight is my middle daughters Championship game! I am so excited for her to play. I know they can pull this win off. If they do, my husband is going to let the team dye his hair PINK! What we won't do for softball!! Sigh!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Fathers Day!

I lost my dad 13 years ago this past May25. Fathers Day doesn't get any easier. While I grew up as a child of divorce, I realize my dad did what he could in a world he knew nothing about. While he may not have been a good man to all he was a good dad to ME! When I bacame an adult is when he and I really became close. I miss our talks. I miss our walks. I miss my dad!! He was a wonderful grandpa, too! He couldn't wait to take my then 10 month old out on day trips. Sadly, he never got the chance. You are missed and loved, Thomas Francis Smith, Jr.

My husband had a good Fathers Day (I hope). He is a GREAT man and GREAT dad! I couldn't ask for a better father for my daughter or better stepfather for my other children. He treats all the kids as though they were his very own and was truly sad when he realized we wouldn't be getting the kids last night (Sunday's are usually our scheduled nights). I am so very blessed to have this man in my life. He teaches me so very much about life, laughing and God! Not necessarily in that order. So, thank you, dear, for coming into my life and showing me what a God centered marriage is all about!!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Worry Wart

I know I come across as a confident, put together woman to most who don't really know the REAL me. But I'm not. I'm a worry wart. I worry about EVERYTHING! Seriously. I do. My latest worry stems from money. Not a big surprise in today's economy. But recently my ex took me to court to have my child support reduced. He won. I will be missing $700/month from my monthly budget. That is HUGE for us. Its half of my mortgage payment. HALF! I still can't fathom how a judge could grant that....I mean the man makes $102K/year. I make $27K/year. Now you're taking away $8400K/year from me! What. The. Crap. So worrying about our monthly budget is nothing new to me. My husband knows how much I worry. Its what I do. He tells me to stop worrying and put it in Gods hands. I truly do try. I know God has always pulled us through before. Its hard.

Another thing I worry about is losing weight. I'm fat. I'm not HUGE...but I'm fat. I gained over 20 pounds going through my divorce and was never able to get rid of the weight. I weight 164 and am 5'5". Overweight on any scale you look at. This is a HUGE deal for me. I used to be 125 and have 6 pack abs. AFTER having 3 kids. The depression phase I went through KILLED me. I drank alot and now have a "beer belly". UGH!! I went from a size 6 to a 12! I am so disgusted with myself at times it makes me sick. I have to self esteem and absolutely no will power to speak of. I am so hard on myself for letting me get this way and not being strong enough to get back to a healthy weight for me. So when my husband "isn't in the mood" I take it very personally. And very hard. It makes me sad. What man says NO? Which lays more guilt on me that I should be more attractive for him....he deserves it. He is a very attractive, funny, intelligent, HOT man who deserves at least a cute wife....sigh

Sorry...bad morning for me this morning. I still struggle with my thoughts and feelings.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Plank In My Eye

I subscribe to several email services that send you daily Bible passages. Within the last few days this same passage has been sent to me:

"Why do you look at the spec in your own eye but do not perceive the plank in your own eye?" Luke 6:41

Occassionally, I will notice God speaking to me through these passages. When I am particularly stressed about something (usually money), God will send me the verses I need to feel peace of mind again. Its amazing. But this time God is telling me to "get off my high horse and take a good, hard look at myself". When I was married the first timeI had become a very bitter, spiteful woman. I didn't like the woman I was at that time. When I met my current husband, I had been knocked off my pedistal and set "straight". I find myself climbing back up there again. The part I love most is the fact that my husband "gently" reminds me about what being a Christian is all about. Even when its the last thing I want to be reminded of. He tells me that this "stuff" just doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. He is so right. I am so lucky to have him in my life. Although he credits me for his walk with Christ, he really is my spiritual leader.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Baseball Mothers are the WORST!

Baseball is taken very seriously in my sons league. So seriously, in fact, I've taken to calling one of his coach's the "Baseball Nazi". Its that serious! Most of the kids have their own bats...they KNOW their own bats...they LOVE their own bats. If you give a kid another bat he will NOT like it, he will NOT hit well with it. Boys know bats. So when a mother came to our dug out last monday and took two of our boys (one of them being my sons) bats back to her dugout under the guise of being "her sons" bats, things got touchy. Our dugout mom tried to get the bats back but before she could get over there Baseball mom put her sons name on these bats in PERMANENT MARKER! I know, right! So when Dugout mom came over she pointed out that her sons name was on them. Then she overhears Baseball mom's son tell her "mom, these aren't my bats, they're the wrong size". ARRGGHH!! So now Baseball mom has to scribble out the name that she wrote on said bats. Unbelievable the things that go through peoples minds. I was a "bit upset" when I heard this story and called Baseball mom out on it. I "nicely" asked her to purchase a new bat for my son since his was now defaced. However, my loving husband has informed me that is NOT a Christian thing to do and to just let it go. He is much better at that than I am. And while it made me feel like a fool (not his intention, I know) I do realize he was right. I told her to forget about the bat. My husband is obviously not a SMITH...my sisters both agree with me.